Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize