at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
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