anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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