There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
