we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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