She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize