Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize