hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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