Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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