There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
