That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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