friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
