I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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