You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Never underestimate the power of titties
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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