Do you still have your period?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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