The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
