I'm gonna have a badass scar
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
