they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
