So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
