FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
