the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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