Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
