Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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