Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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