im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Randomize
