Pappa wants mamma naked
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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