Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
