Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
