We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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