Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
They have beer where we have blood.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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