it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
