I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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