Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize