After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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