fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
