I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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