Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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