Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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