Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
