I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
