If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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