So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
