oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize