So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
