I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
