he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
