Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
