if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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