i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
