i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
