Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
