i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
