We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
