i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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