Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize