using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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