This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
