yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
