It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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