i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Randomize
