YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
