oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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