i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
