I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
