i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
