I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize