awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
