i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
